Is this killing your relationship?
Nothing kills a relationship faster than unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations cause division in a relationship and with time, division results in the death of a relationship. Over time and after a lot of hurt feelings, I realized that I was squashing my spouse’s confidence by demanding and expecting certain things. The big thing I was expecting was that he would make me happy.
This expectation is unrealistic because my husband cannot control my emotions. That’s up to me. But time and again, I would be left frustrated and disappointed when he didn’t make me happy.
The Holy Spirit convicted my heart of my unrealistic expectations. God showed me that I have the opportunity to partner with Him to meet all of my needs. I don’t have to be dependent on others (including my spouse) to make me happy. Letting go of expectations is liberating and freed me up to receive love from my spouse.
After I stopped expecting him to make me happy, I began enjoying him so much more. Instead of focusing on all he “wasn’t” doing, I began seeing all the ways that he was loving me.
Strengthening exercise:
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Identify the expectations in your relationship.
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Consider the impact and effect of these expectations.
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Ask God to show you what expectations you need to release from your spouse.
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Reflect on what your relationship would be like if you became more dependent on Christ.
Scripture: “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” Psalm 62:1-2
Prayer: Father, help me to turn to you to meet my needs. Please help me to be honest with my spouse about my frustrations and desires. Please create unity in our marriage. Amen.
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