Last week, we talked about how the mind can feel louder at night—how thoughts that felt manageable during the day can suddenly feel heavy, urgent, and harder to escape once everything gets quiet. Today, we’re going to discuss how to calm your nervous system before bed.
This week, I want to talk about something closely connected:
How we help the body transition into rest.
Because for many of us, it’s not just about sleep.
It’s about whether our nervous system knows how to close the day.
Why Winding Down Feels So Hard
Most of us, at some point, will struggle with sleep.
Falling asleep.
Staying asleep.
Or waking up too early.
I’ve experienced all three.
From an early age, I struggled to fall asleep. And over time, I’ve had seasons where staying asleep felt just as hard—often waking in the night with anxiety already present.
I see this often with the clients I work with.
What makes it especially frustrating is that many of us are doing the “right” things:
- trying to wind down
- trying to be consistent
- trying to take care of ourselves
And yet, sleep still feels unpredictable.
At times, it can even lead to the thought:
What’s the point of doing all of this if I still don’t sleep well?
It May Not Be a Sleep Problem
For a long time, I thought I had a sleep problem.
What I’ve come to understand is that my nervous system didn’t always know how to close the day.
And when the body doesn’t feel complete, it often stays alert—even when we’re exhausted and ready for rest.
Sleep doesn’t just happen because we’re tired.
It happens when the body feels safe enough to let go.
What Helped Me (And Might Help You)
This isn’t a perfect routine.
And it may or may not work for you.
But over time, these practices have helped my body begin to associate nighttime with safety and rest instead of pressure and performance.
I also want to say—this is something I’ve had to learn gradually.
And I still have nights where I feel that familiar thought:
Will I sleep well tonight? What if I don’t and I feel exhausted tomorrow?
So this isn’t about doing it perfectly.
It’s about giving the body consistent signals:
The day is finished. It’s safe to let go.
A Simple Bedtime Routine for the Nervous System
1. Create space from your phone
Ideally, I put my phone away about two hours before bed.
But if that feels unrealistic, even starting with 10–15 minutes can make a difference.
This isn’t about rules.
It’s about giving your mind less input as you begin to wind down.
2. Legs up the wall + breath
I’ll spend a few minutes with my legs up the wall, which helps shift the body into a more relaxed, parasympathetic state.
From there, I move through a simple breath sequence:
- double inhale + long exhale
- 4–7–8 breathing
- gentle alternating nostril breathing
Nothing complicated—just steady, rhythmic breathing to help my body slow down.
(If you’d like more support with breathwork, you can explore that here.)
3. Prayer and reflection
As I get into bed, I’ll often thank God for the day—gently walking back through moments, without pressure to analyze or fix anything.
Then I return to my breath.
4. When anxiety shows up
If I feel that familiar nighttime tension, I remind myself:
Even laying here is rest.
And sometimes a simple prayer:
Jesus, help this rest be enough.
Why This Works
Over time, these small practices send a consistent message to the body:
The day is complete.
You don’t have to stay alert.
You can let go.
This is how the nervous system begins to associate nighttime with rest—not performance.
A Gentle Reminder
If sleep has felt hard for you, you’re not doing anything wrong.
Your body may simply be looking for clearer signals that the day is over.
And often, those signals are:
- small
- gentle
- repeated over time
A Question to Consider
What helps your body feel safe enough to rest?
With care,
Melissa
PS: If this resonates and you’d like additional support around sleep or nervous system rhythm, you’re always welcome to reach out or schedule a consultation. If you would like helpful information, check out my Instagram and Pinterest pages.
Note: This content is for educational purposes and is not intended to diagnose or treat any psychological or medical condition.