Earlier this summer, I found myself climbing into bed earlier than usual. I was sleeping better than I had in months, yet I still woke up feeling…heavy.
Not the kind of tired that comes from staying up too late, but the kind where your body has technically rested while your mind still feels full. I noticed I had less patience, it was harder to focus, and even simple tasks seemed to require more energy than usual. Maybe you’ve experienced something similar.
It’s easy to assume we simply need more sleep, but one of the things I’ve appreciated most through my training in integrative mental health is that it has given me a different lens for understanding exhaustion. Instead of immediately asking, “What’s wrong with me?” I’ve learned to become more curious. What has my nervous system been carrying? That single question changes everything.
Sometimes exhaustion isn’t simply a sign that we need more sleep. Sometimes it’s the accumulation of weeks—or even months—spent making decisions, caring for others, managing stress, carrying emotional burdens, navigating uncertainty, and pushing through without giving ourselves much opportunity to recover.
Many of us have become so accustomed to carrying stress that exhaustion begins to feel normal. Sleep is incredibly important, but sleep and restoration aren’t always the same thing.
A Gentle Reminder
Imagine carrying a heavy backpack all day long. At first, you barely notice it. As the day goes on, someone quietly adds another book, then a laptop, then a water bottle, and a few more things you never expected to carry. Eventually the weight begins to wear on you—not because of one especially heavy item, but because of everything you’ve been carrying over time.
Now imagine taking that backpack off for eight hours while you sleep, only to put it right back on the moment you wake up.
That’s often what chronic stress feels like. Most of us don’t notice the weight because no one thing feels unbearable. It’s the accumulation of the emails, the caregiving, the uncertainty, the decisions, the constant low-level vigilance. Eventually, we stop noticing the backpack because we’ve forgotten what it feels like to put it down.
Rest helps. Sleep matters. But if our nervous system never has the opportunity to release what it’s been carrying, we may continue feeling depleted even after a full night’s sleep.
I actually find that incredibly hopeful because it reminds us that restoration is about more than simply getting enough hours of sleep. Our nervous systems also need moments throughout the day where they experience safety, connection, joy, stillness, and permission to simply be.
Perhaps that’s why Jesus often withdrew to quiet places—not because He was weak, but because even in the midst of meaningful work, He honored the need for rest and renewal.
Something To Try
This week, instead of asking yourself, “Did I get enough sleep?” try asking a different question: What has my nervous system been carrying lately?
Maybe it’s the mental load of caring for your family. Maybe it’s grief, uncertainty, decision fatigue, constant notifications, or simply trying to keep up with life’s endless demands. Awareness doesn’t immediately make the backpack lighter, but it does help us understand why it feels so heavy.
As you move through this week, practice one small moment of restoration each day.
Let it be something that isn’t productive or meant to help you catch up. It doesn’t need to accomplish anything or check another item off your list.
Just restoration.
Often, restoration shows up in ordinary moments:
- drinking your coffee before everyone wakes up
- taking a slow walk without tracking your pace
- laughing with a friend
- sitting on the porch after dinner
- reading a chapter of a book simply because you enjoy it, or looking out the window instead of reaching for your phone.
These moments may seem small, but your nervous system notices them. They quietly communicate, “You’re safe. You don’t have to stay in survival mode.”
One of the themes you’ll continue hearing throughout this Whole-Person Mental Health series is this: Rest isn’t simply the absence of activity. It’s the presence of restoration. Maybe restoration isn’t something we earn after we’ve finished everything. Maybe it’s one of the ways we find the strength to keep going.
This week, I hope you’ll give yourself permission to set the backpack down—even if it’s only for a few minutes. Your nervous system will notice.
Want to Practice This Together?
Reading about whole-person mental health is a wonderful place to begin. Sometimes, though, lasting change happens when someone walks alongside you. I’m currently developing Integrative Mental Health Coaching—a new offering designed to help women build sustainable habits that support their minds, bodies, and nervous systems through a compassionate, evidence-informed approach.
If you’d like to be among the first to learn more, I’d love to keep you updated. Join the Coaching Interest List