Has the pandemic left you feeling frustrated with your marriage?
You’ve been furloughed.
You’re stuck at home with your spouse and/or children all day.
You’re on another Zoom call instead of communicating face-to-face.
In crisis, it’s normal to feel frustrated and exhausted. When you are feeling frustrated, it’s easy to let those frustrations spill into your marriage. This can look like either distancing yourself from your spouse or becoming easily annoyed with your spouse, resulting in patterns of withdrawal. But when you withdraw from your spouse, you lose an emotional connection, making you more vulnerable to arguments and conflict.
The antidote to this is helping others. Volunteering with your spouse is a powerful way to create connection with your spouse. You’ll receive personal benefits as well!
In times of crisis, we want to know there is meaning and purpose in the struggle. Helping others creates that meaning and purpose. And when you’re helping others, not only are you receiving personal benefits with a release of oxytocin, but you also are creating a shared experience with your spouse. This encourages bonding and connection with your significant other, yourself, and those in need. Such a feeling of connection is grounding and reassuring when the world feels like chaos.
Ways to strengthen your relationship through serving:
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Reach out to vulnerable friends and family who may be feeling lonely. Simply check in with a short phone call, FaceTime, or text. This helps to brighten their day and makes them feel less alone.
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Donate monetarily to food banks or organizations like Convoy of Hope.
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Give blood. According to a recent press release from the American Red Cross, they expect to see a decrease in those eligible (and willing) to donate blood as COVID-19 continues to spread.
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Check with your church about ways to virtually volunteer. Be a part of the online welcome team, serve in community outreach (our church is providing meals through after-school programs), or host a virtual small group.
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Serve together at a local homeless shelter that provides meals.
Scripture to consider: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4