There are voices in my head. No, I’m not a crazy person. These voices are usually faint whispers that taunt me, telling me “You aren’t good enough. You’ll never be good enough.”
As these words echo through my mind, hope slips like sand through my hands. The power I possess vanishes. Why bother? I’ll never be able to _______, I think, cowering to the power of this dark voice.
Another voice tells me “You should be farther along by now. Just look at that person online or that person over there. They are so much more advanced in their careers, and she’s definitely a better mother than you. You’re such a failure.”
These voices give rise to my feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, setting me up in an exhausting cycle of perfectionism and comparison.
“Who do you think you are?”
This one is the worst. That phrase always stops me cold, piercing my heart, leaving me feeling weak in the knees and pulling the plug on all my motivation and drive.
“You should…”
“You’ll never…”
“You’re so…”
Those are the voices in my head. I probably don’t sound so crazy now because more than likely, you are now thinking of the voices in your own head. What are they saying?
I call this the voice of the Accuser. Accusing me that I’m not good enough, and I’ll never be good enough, so I might as well give up and try harder, all at the same time. Can you relate?
I’m not much of a grammar person (if you’ve read this blog for long, this is pretty obvious). But here is a little grammar lesson: “you” is a second person pronoun. “You” refers to a listener or a speaker. If you’re on the other side of a “you” phrase, you are the listener.
Why does this matter?
The importance lies in how active you are in your own life. When you listen to the voice of the Accuser (or whatever else you want to call it), you’re putting yourself on the passive end of communication. Listening to and soaking in the message of these lies.
When you listen to these kinds of lies, you ingest its deadly message. And over time, the lie doesn’t feel like garbage anymore; it begins to feel like truth. Have you ever sat in a room that smelled? After a period of time, you don’t smell the stench anymore. What once stank now smells normal. It’s the same when you listen to the garbage for too long. It starts to seem normal and like the truth.
What can you do?
- Begin to listen for the “you” voice. Think about the inner dialogue subtly (or maybe not so subtly) happening in your mind. As you create an intention to truly hear the garbage, you are training your brain to recognize it and be more aware of it.
- When you hear this voice, begin speaking truth to yourself. Here are some truth staples: You are worthy and valuable. You matter. You have been designed by a Creator for a reason. There is something unique about you and your calling. You are beautiful. Your past doesn’t define you, but your Creator does.
- Repeat. You will be amazed to discover that as you quit listening to lies and begin speaking truth, your beliefs about yourself will change. And as your beliefs change, so will your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Blessings to you,
Melissa